Change. Do I have the Right?

Yesterday evening I discovered my second strand of white hair. I was so shocked to see it, that I accidentally dislodged it from my head. After looking at it for a few seconds I chucked it away. Long after analyzing the single strand of white hair I found myself feeling some kind of way. That single strand of short white hair forced me to realize that I’m changing. Each and every day, I’m changing. With every passing moment and second, I am changing. Not just aging, but I’m changing. I’m changing from this person that I’ve known for so long to someone brand new. What I’m wondering is, do I have the right? Do I have the right to change and evolve into someone new, someone with different expectations, perspectives and perceptions? Is it fair to undergo this extreme metamorphosis, then expect those who’ve been a long-term part of my life, to get in line with the new me?

As I’m getting older, I’m starting to change into this woman, whom I’ve never wanted any part of before. I’m starting to be less hard and rough around the edges, and more soft, sweet and motherly. I’m less impatient and temperamental.  I’m beginning to desire affection and love, when before I would push that form of closeness away. Having a relationship with my soul mate, and having him here with me at the end of the day seems to have become one of my top priorities. The question that I keep coming back to is, do I have the right to ask and/or require something different from him, after having our relationship work so well after all of these years? Is it selfish of me to change things up right smack dab in the middle of our adventure together, especially when this is and has been working so well for us? Well, just as I keep being bombarded by the same questions I also keep arriving at the same conclusion, change is inevitable. In lots of cases, there’s no control over change, for instance my white strands of hair, or my children growing into their own independence.  We don’t get a whole lot of say-so when it comes to change, yet it’s bound to happen, and we have no choice other than to accept it.

Though it’s different from my usual norm, I’m starting to embrace the changes that are going on with my body, in my mind, and with my heart…..I might as well, seeing that they’re going to happen with or without my blessing. I’m learning to savour the taste of unforeseen circumstances, in fact I’m developing an acquired palette for them.

I want what I want, and I still am who I am…while constantly evolving!

…..and YES! I have every right!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkJ15mN6nUc

4 Comments

Filed under Adulthood, Aging, Change, Feelings, Life, Observations, Thoughts

4 responses to “Change. Do I have the Right?

  1. First of all, I love this blog! Changing is a part of life. In my 20’s, I had expectations of what I wanted in a family: a husband, two kids, one picket fence,etc. In my 30’s, it changed,I just wanted a husband, and now in my 40’s, still single, I am happy with my self. In my 20’s I couldn’t see myself as a single person. When I saw my first strand of gray hair, I didn’t embrace it. I didn’t want to look like my mother. Now I see I have her characteristics and her personality. We think alike to the “T”. Discernment, wisdom, and maturity comes with change. It can be a great thing. Your loved ones around you will also change and see the changes in you. Is it fair? It can be. The creative indiviual you are, i believe will have a positive outcome with whomever you in contact with…..Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks Shar! Isn’t it funny how we make plans and think that we have it all figured out, then BOOM!….we get none of what we’d planned for, yet we’re happy and content with what we ended up with?!? I’m still learning that change is bound to happen, and that it’s inevitable. I’m also getting to where you are, when I can accept that change brings about good qualities and other things. One only gets better with thime, huh? So tell me this, have you abandoned all those things on your list from when you were in your 20’s and 30’s? Do you still have plans or are you taking it day-by-day? Thanks again for your comment, as well as, following my blog! =)

  2. Heh, the world indeed shifts and ebbs and we can only float along or tire ourselves out fighting it, it seems. Good reflection on some things that I am contemplating too, as I near (*gasp*) thirty.

    • @ Penni Cash…..Thanks for the comment! Oh, I LOVE that!….”we can float along or tire ourselves out fighting it…” That’s the TRUTH! Oh how I can so remember back (WAY BACK!….smile) when I was nearing the ripe ole age of thirty! Reflecting back sure does give one the opportunity to appreciate all that they’ve been through, and from where they’ve come! Good luck with your transformation! =)

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