Teen Sex in Your Home

The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mines (she’s from Sweden) about this current generation of kids, and how they are compared to how we were growing up. Imagine my surprise when she told me that it’s the norm for Swedish teens to have sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends AT HOME! There’s no need to sneak and do it while mom and dad are out or at work. You can do “it” with their blessings, right in the bedroom that they provide for you! Has your mouth dropped open like mines did while she was telling me this? I was totally flabbergasted! I kept asking over and over again, to make sure I’d heard it right. The teens of Sweden are allowed to have sex in their parents homes, and it’s considered to be part of the norm?!? YES!

I guess I can’t imagine having sex in my bedroom with my parents downstairs or right in the next room. Better yet, when my parents think about sex and me, at 35 years old, I’m hoping they think I only did it four times, and that’ll be the four times that I became pregnant, and had children because of it! I don’t want my parents to relate sex and me together, let alone hear me having it! But any who….

So my girlfriend goes on to tell me, parents over there just accept the fact that it’s a part of life and their children are going to have sex, like it or not! Providing a safe and comfortable place to do it, is better than the kids sneaking off doing it wherever they can. The question was then posed to me, “wouldn’t I rather my daughter (whose 13) have sex where I know she’s safe, where she’s not being forced or talked into doing something that she doesn’t want to, and she’s prepared?” To answer that, I always want my children to be safe. I always want to do what I think is best for them. But, I know that I’ll never be comfortable with ANY of my children having sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends in my home. I definitely can’t see myself providing a safe haven for them to come sex in. Reason why? Maybe it’s because it’s not how I was raised. It’s probably how majority of Americans feel?  Maybe it’s because I think it’s a bit weird and disrespectful. I can’t pinpoint the exact reason, but I don’t ever believe that I’ll be okay with any of my minor children engaging in any kind of sexual acts with my blessings.

My Swedish friend has been in America for twenty years and she has semi-sort of become Americanized in respect to this matter. She’s not totally comfortable with her daughter having sex (which she hasn’t yet engaged in) in her house. She’s hoping that she never wants to, but if in fact she does, she will let her daughter utilize her own bedroom. She’d rather that her daughter be safe and in control. Opinions? Are Americans out of touch, or is it just me, whose out of touch? We will provide them with birth control, but letting them have sex in their bedrooms isn’t part of the package, or is it? Where do we expect for them to engage in sex? I’m so curious to hear the opinions of others.


Filed under Family, Motherhood, Observations, Raising Teenagers, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Teen Sex in Your Home

  1. Teen sex is not an easy debate, task or problem as it could be interpreted in different context. It raises issues of concern all over the world. I have come to realize that sex is defined by every society and reacts to it based on their knowledge and system built around sex.It would defined as problematic if it causes dysfunction an unhealthy consequences or threats to the society of concern.

    it not surprising to hear parents in Sweden do allow their children to have sex at home in their presence. They are not very much concern about the responsibility that comes with sex but the safety of their kids. This may be the same reason why parents in America may not encourage teenage sex by not talking about it thinking it is safe for the kids not know what it is all about till the are mature to handle the responsibilities that come with sex.

    It becomes tricky we want to replace morals with rules and laws that has to govern behaviors that could in be control naturally be the subsequent outcomes. for instance I a kid knows they fall pregnant or have some one pregnant it is their responsibility to handle it from day 1 to the end. If they are not ready for that then they need to think twice. kids need guidance and gain responsibility and maturity with time. But since we as adults or parents want to control everything we give the choice of contraceptives and abortion which is the smartest short cut thinking we are helping.

    The result is continuous and indiscriminate sexual activities are indirectly encouraged in the name of safety. My concern is if we continue to over protect they lose sense of their own safety and other have to keep on thinking in their place. it is sad but it is the world we leave in

    thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    • Thanks for the comment Amanaka. I do truly appreciate your input/incite. You’re absolutely right in every aspect of your comment! It’s definitely a catch-22. It’s not an easy situation to be in (parenting)….what’s right? What’s wrong? Whose right? Whose wrong? UGH! It’s so much to deal with.

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