Two years ago, I wrote  a blog post about how oral sex, amongst teens had become quite  the “norm”.  I remember how stunned I was, when I learned that my teenage son and his friends were receiving oral sex from two girls who they’d grown up with since they were Kindergarten age. That was the last thing, I expected to be going on with the kids on my block.  After I came to grips with the behavior that our kids were engaging in , I had  the famous  and very long “talk” with my son.  At the conclusion of our “talk” I pretty much knew that my words had fallen on death ears. He wasn’t going to stop or turn back into my sweet, innocent and undefiled child, in fact I knew that he was only going to up the ante and push the envelope even further. His hormones had been unleashed and set free, and there was nothing that I was going to be able to do, to curtail it.

Fast forward to today, oral sex is a thing of the past and they’ve vivaciously moved on to full-blown  bang down sex! I knew this day was coming, but I never thought I’d see the day when a mother would allow teenage, high school boys (who you don’t really know) to come into her home and have sex with her daughter, as if they’re married adults.  I’m completely baffled. Am I old school? Am I out of touch?

Okay. I get it. Teens are having sex. Yes. They’re doing it, plain and simple. I get all of that. But when did it become ideal to co-sign them having sex? When did the parents start actively assisting their children and making it vastly comfortable for them to be sexually active, particularly under their own roofs?

I finally accepted that my innocent baby boy is long gone, and I only have memories of him etched into my mind to rely on. I’m just now starting to wrap my head around the fact that girls are throwing themselves at his feet and they’ve made themselves readily available to him. But what I’ve refused to ever accept is that of willing participant. As a teen especially, but not even as an adult will he EVER have my blessing when it comes to his sexual life.

If I’m stuck in the past, then so be it. That’s where I’ll stay, before I ever say it’s okay for any of my children to march someone or anyone through the doors of my house, up to their bedrooms and engage in sexual acts with them. Not happening!

Let’s have a conversation: What’s your perspective? Do I need to get with the times? Do you care about being the “cool” parent to your child and their friends? Would you allow your house to be “that” house where all the kids flock to, to get it in?


Filed under blogging, children, Family, mommy blogger, Motherhood, Mothering, Parenting, Raising Teenagers, Uncategorized

8 responses to “

  1. lamehousewife

    I am with you. I have told my son that I want to start changing the culture of promiscuity through them. I am very honest about how much pain it has brought to me and many of my friends. I don’t know if it will sink in, but I am at least gonna try, and NO WAY would I prefer “cool” over being the lame mom with tight restrictions….God bless:)

    • I now realize that talking does go a long way. Even when we think that they aren’t listening, they are.
      Talking makes all the difference!
      I guess we’re in the same boat, huh? Give me lame, too! It’s just certain things that I’m not going to ever be cool with. Thanks for the comment!

  2. Oh wow, this post….
    Sigh. I was raised in a family where it was OK, and the parents cosigned, or at least turned their heads. Knowing what I do now, I sure wish they hadn’t. And i will not be that mother. My kids are smaller (the oldest is nine), but I know the days are coming when she will hate me for the standards I will set for her (and the others.) May God keep me strong in that day- because it IS for their good.

    • Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing. I Really appreciate it. You’re doing absolutely right. Start planning your plan of attack while they’re young. They’ll be at this age very soon. Having a plan is key and not budging on it, is key. You’re going to be just fine, when your time comes! Thanks again!

  3. First of all I want to say how refreshing it is to read such an open and honest blog! Especially on such an important topic. I dread the day my three. It’s become teens for reasons such as these.
    Secondly no I don’t think your behind in the times I think your being an amazing mother having to deal with these hard times!

    You have a great blog.

    • Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Julz! That means so much to me. I try to be open and share things that can be a help to others. It’s great to know that I’m not doing this in vain.
      I tell my kids that I don’t know everything and I’m learning, too as I go, which is why I ask my readers questions. So thanks for helping me to ensure that I’m on the right track with raising these children!
      I appreciate the comment and the compliments. I look forward to staying connected. I will definitely support your blog in return! Thanks again!

  4. You cannot stop teenagers from having sex, this has been going on forever. The only thing you can hope for is that they are practising safe sex. No, I would not let them have sex in my house while I am home, I am not a prude, I just not ready for the moans.

    • Thanks for the comment Catherine! Absolutely! I’m coming to grips with the realization that teens are sexually active. And like you, my fingers are crossed that protection is of high importance to them.
      No one yet, said that they’re allowing their teenagers (and even adult children) to have sex under their roofs. We’re not the sore thumbs!
      Thanks again!

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