Tag Archives: family

One Year Ago….

….the four little’s, Dooney the dog,  and I arrived, for the very first time, to our new home and the state of Texas!

 

It’s hard to believe that an entire three hundred and sixty-five days have already passed since we transitioned our lives from Michigan and away from everyone that we knew. It was and remains one of the hardest (and necessary) decisions of my life…..our lives.

Admittedly, relocating wasn’t as easy as it may come across. I had to deal with the school district wanting to place my littlest son back a grade level, my oldest boy experienced extreme culture and identity shock, while being in the midst of adolescence. My biggest gal was jockeying for her position in our family unit (which has been a huge headache), all this I endured daily, while chasing a 1-year-old toddler around from sun up to sun back down. Those are just the issues that I had to deal with concerning my children. I won’t even get into my own “grown-up adult” struggles. But, whatever the case, we made it! Happily and with a smile adorning my face, I can declare that we have, indeed, made it!

We have accomplished another one of the many goals that we’ve set for ourselves as a family, and it feels so good! Initially, we struggled to find our “Texas” footing, but we have managed to get on track. Everyone is happy and we have set lots of new goals for ourselves.

I definitely wanted to express how proud I am of us and thank everyone who has traveled this journey alongside us. My family back home, thanks for supporting my decision and us, as we transitioned. Thanks to everyone who rooted, pulled and prayed for us. Most importantly, thank you for tuning in to read, support, give advice and express your opinions on my blog posts.

I look forward to moving ahead with everyone continuing alongside us! Lots more adventures to come!

Us making our way to the Great State of TEXAS!

Us again! Really just getting started out on the road!

 

 

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Dooney Boy!

This post is in honor of the most dependent, yet my thoughtful member of our household: Mr. Dooney Bourke D.

Dooney
HOT MESS in action!!!

Dooney has been a part of our family for the last y years. He was given to us by a long time friend because of his anxious and destructive behavior. Needless to say, he has been very destructive in our home, but he’s still overly anxious (separation anxiety to the MAX!). We when relocated from Michigan I thought about giving him to another family, because we didn’t know what to expect with the big move. I knew that whom ever I placed him with would have to be extremely patient, retired, boring, financially stable and an over-the-top dog lover. I knew the chances of me finding someone to meet that criteria would be slim to none, which is how he wound up moving to Texas with us. Plus, I just couldn’t and didn’t want to leave him behind. He is a unit of our family and we love him too much to abandon him!

Dooney
So Fresh and So Clean!!!

 

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If Only My Kids Would…..

Listen, hear and process the valuable lessons that are being handed down and over to them.

Nothing satisfies a mother/parent more than knowing that they’ve efficiently equipped their children to handle the ways of this world!

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Single Motherhood: My Perspective

Let me start by saying that I am and have been in a relationship for an extended amount of time with the same person, with whom I have children with, but since we aren’t legally married I categorize myself as being a “single mother”. With that being said, I’ve been a mother for nearly sixteen years and there hasn’t been a single time that I didn’t live up to my end of the bargain when it comes to being a parent. I’ve never ran away from my responsibilities, never tried to push my responsibilities off on someone else, never neglected nor attempted to act like my responsibilities didn’t exist.

I’m that mother who doesn’t live this life through my own eyes. I don’t make decisions based on what I want. Before making any decisions I look at what effect that decision is going to have on each of my children. Their wants and needs come before my own and definitely before anyone else. I believe most great and exceptional parents, parent in this manner or in a very similar manner. It less about self and more about supplying our offspring with the absolute best tools in order to be successful and have a very enjoyable life. Now do we deserve any credit for that? Nah. I’ll be the first to say, we don’t deserve any special recognition or pats on the back for doing what we’re suppose to and signed up to do. However, I do say that because I’ve never negated my parenting duties and since I’ve been fully engaged from day one, I have all say so when it comes to my children. I have earned the right to NOT confer with ANYONE when it comes to them and their well-being. I have any and all rights as they pertain to my children. I feel absolutely no obligation to inform, notify or co-parent with an absentee person.  I think it’s absolutely CRAZY and makes no sense to report my business and my child’s business to an individual who is not engaged and not participating in their life! Am I wrong? What’s your perspective? Share. I’d love to have this conversation.

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A Nice Big Piece of Home

My mom flew down to visit the kiddos and I, early last week and it was just what the doctor ordered!  We all needed to be recharged with a remarkable big slice of home, and nothing better to fill that order than having my mom come for a visit.

With the exception of Skype, none of us have seen my mom since we left Detroit more than seven months ago. I haven’t been separated from my mother for any extended amount of time in all of my thirty-five years. The same applies for my children– she’s been with each of us since day one and nothing sucks more than being apart from her.

I woke up a bit teary eyed Thursday morning because it seemed as if Saturday was approaching at lightning speed, and soon she’d be boarding the plane back to Michigan. After feeling sad for about five minutes, I forced myself to focus on the two full days that I had left to have her here in Texas, instead of focusing on her departure. So we picked up where we left off– we shopped, we talked, we watched TV, sat around and talked, straightened up our living quarters, sat out by the fire pit, talked some more….it was just like old times. Though we didn’t do anything of real “out of town” significance or different from what we normally do, it just felt so good to be in each others presence. I couldn’t have asked for anything more from that visit, other than to have it not end so quickly!

I’m grateful that my mom was able to come to town and  brighten all of our moods. If her mood was anywhere near as dull as ours I sure hope that we were able to return the favor of brightening hers just as much! We’re already looking so forward to our next visit!

Believe this? I didn’t take one picture while my mother was in town! What was I thinking? (shrugs shoulders)

 

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Backseat Parenting

Freedom. I didn’t know the word existed  (let alone applied it to my life) until I was well beyond my adolescent years. Privacy. I had it growing up (to a certain extent), yet I always knew that at any given moment my parents reserved the right to invade the wee bit that I had, for any reason and under any circumstance. I knew that my parents extended certain privileges to me because I earned them, not because I was entitled to them! The line was clearly drawn in the sand for my brother and I, and we knew just how close we could get to that line before all hell broke loose. There’s absolutely no way that any of the teens of this current generation would’ve survived in any household (that I know of) back when I was coming up. American children have done a complete flip on being reared in the 21st century. Being a child is definitely nothing like it use to be. The parenting has become seriously loosened, as have the way that our children carry themselves. Every other week and month, there’s a different person they’re calling “my boyfriend/my girlfriend” or refer to as “we’re going out”. They’re allowed to hang around and befriend people who they have no business even knowing. Kids have records and mug shots on file. For the most part, children today have complete and total say over their lives and decisions, while the parents take a backseat!

In my household, I have four children. I am raising my children to know that we’re in this together, life that is. Your life is not your own. What you do has a direct impact on our entire family unit, therefore we make (and will continue to make) a lot of our decisions together as a family. We take everyone and everything into consideration when it comes decision-making. As the matriarch of this family unit, I have set expectations and standards. My children know what and whose acceptable. When it comes to being social. They know who I’ll approve of them being friends with, and who doesn’t have a shot at making the cut, before even bringing them to me. They know that our family name means a lot to us, and we will not allow it to be tainted and tarnished by foolishness. So no! You can not date this guy/girl today, and then tomorrow date this guy/girl, or “go out” as kids like to refer to it. No, you can’t get in the car with that person! Can’t “just no any ol’ body” join our circle! I’ve worked hard  and invested a lot into my family and I’m very protective when it comes to maintaining it, as should every parent.

I adopted this way of living more than a decade ago, after seeing the success of my friends’ families, who are of Middle Eastern, Asian and Indian descent, and how they structure and live. I learned over the years that structure, expectations and standards must be set, otherwise things are bound to go bad.  You’re bound to be entangled in madness, have your family name drug through the mud,  and your offspring feeding into horrific temptation when you allow children to have complete control and say so over their lives. Too much room for infiltration is allowed when the boundaries aren’t clearly set! Children are incapable of making rash decisions, which is why they have been given parents. As parents, we can not take a backseat, while they attempt to steer themselves through this thing called life. It’s our duty to be all up in what they think is “their business”. We have to. We have no other choice! My feeling is, if we set firm expectations we’ll save them. We’ll save them from making the wrong choice of person, when it comes to dating. We’ll save them from abusive relationship. We’ll save them from underage drinking and drug use. We will save them from getting into a vehicle without that “friend” when they shouldn’t. We’ll save from gaining a criminal record. We will save them, and possibility our families, from a lot of hurt and unnecessary pain.

As for me, so far so good. My children are serious when they say, that I will help them decide on who their mates will be, when that time comes. They don’t want to disappoint me and because of that, they’re very conscious of their actions. This is how we’ve been living our lives and I haven’t had a single issue regarding drugs, drinking, sex, sneaking, or deceitfulness. My children and I have relationships where we talk, and actually exchange dialog with one another. I ask the hard questions, as do they. We’re honest and they know that I’m open for whatever.

I know that what’s working for me, may not necessarily work for the next family……..but it’s definitely worth giving a try. It’s time to take our children and our families back, by any means necessary!

PEACE & many Blessings to you and your family

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Keeping with Tradition

 

My four and I (and Dooney, the dog) have been undergoing a huge transition for the last six months, with our relocating from Detroit to Houston. For the most part, we’re all pretty much settled in and happy with our super-duper big move. Sunday proved that, when the five of us (and Dooney, the dog) gathered for our yearly tradition of watching the Superbowl together. From the singing of the National Anthem until the clock strikes triple zeros at the end of the fourth quarter we all sit, watch, root for our team of choice, talk, eat, laugh and rate the commercials together. I’m not sure how much longer this tradition (with the five of us……and Dooney, the dog) will last, seeing that my oldest is soon to be fifteen, and he’s not too far from coming into his own. I get a wee bit emotional when I think about our traditions, such as delving into the spirit of the Superbowl, becoming null, void and potentially meaningless to them as they get older and come into their own. (Deep sigh) Guess I can’t and shouldn’t dwell on the “what if” times of the future, but enjoy the here, now and all the traditions that we have at this moment….and the fact, that we’re planting roots, as well as traditions in our new home! So! Here’s to keeping with tradition all the way down in Texas! *CHEERS*

 

Congrats to the New York Giants!

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