Tag Archives: parenthood

Shock and Awe: Pregnant Teen Sues Parents

Every since last week, I’ve been going OFF about this pregnant 16-year-old who had the audacity to sue her parents.
So is that what they’re doing now? Teens are rewarding their parents by bringing lawsuits against them, eh?
In case you haven’t heard about this foolery, let me give you some background in what I’ll be ranting and raving about.
Parents of the pregnant teen were unhappy to learn that she was with child and so, they were pressuring her to have an abortion. parents and teen girl They supposedly issued threats (that her life was going to be ruined; she was flushing her future down the drain; she wasn’t going to amount to nothing; they were going to make her life miserable, etc) in hopes of steering her to abort the fetus.
Turns out her parents were indeed making her life a living hell. Plus they must have taken away the vehicle that they purchased for her.
This child got the bright idea to solicit the help of some group (obviously pro-lifers) to support and represent her in suing her parents.
To shorten the story, she won the case against her parents. They couldn’t force her to have an abortion (which we all already know. No clinic would ever perform an abortion on an unwilling patient) the parents can no longer go around making her life a living hell or uncomfortable. The parents agreed to let her use the car that they purchased, in order for her to get back-and-forth to school and work. She will be allowed to marry her 16-year-old boyfriend. The parents will also pay her cell phone bill and half of her health insurance.
This is what our country has boiled down to. Teens are being rewarded for their bad decisions and choices, while the parents are being punished. What responsibility are these two irresponsible “children” being taught when they’re being rewarded the “gifts” they seek in a court of law?
I agree. No one should be threatened with physical force when it comes to an unexpected pregnancy, but why would the parents have to be responsible for half of her medical expenses? Why do they have to allow her to enjoy the privilege of driving around in a car that they purchased? Why on God’s green earth do they have pay for her to have the luxury of a cell phone?
I’ve always been under the assumption that grown people take care of themselves. Grown folks don’t “need: anyone to pay their cell phone bills; they don’t “need” to use the car they someone else bought; they don’t “need” some to pay for half their medical expenses.
The mere fact that this child “needs” her parents for these minute things is a testament that she doesn’t “need” a child because she can’t even take care of the basic things that she needs (wants) to survive.
If she and her boyfriend want to make grown-up decisions, then why wouldn’t they be ordered to endure the grown-up consequences?

All-in-all there was definitely a better way for this unfortunate situation to be handled, besides this child dragging her parents to court.
If you found yourself in this situation what would your reaction be? How would you handle such a court ruling?

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Had it been me:

Chances are extremely high that I’d be held in contempt of court and ordered to jail for an extensive amount of time.
First, I would have taken my SUV and ran over the car that I was told to let her drive. I would have driven back and forth over the heap of rubble until it was obliterated! While in the midst destroying that vehicle I would have called the insurance company to cancelled my coverage before calling the cell phone company and breaking whatever contract I had remaining on the account.
The nerve of that child, the judicial system and whatever idiots represented her in court!
I know my reaction would be extreme, but I’m an extreme kind of gal. I firmly believe that when there are no consequences, these are the messes that you end up with!

Food for thought:

Did it not cross anyone’s mind that maybe it was the privilege of having access to a car and the luxury of a cell that got her into her pregnancy fiasco to begin with? Hmm.

She has all of these people in her corner now, but where will they be once this child is born? What help will they (especially the little loud mouth 16-year-old boy who helped to get her in this mess) provide when it’s 2-years-old? 5-years-old? 13-years-old? Matter of fact, where will any of them be when this child winds up pregnant (or has someone pregnant) at 16?
We all know how this fairy tale will end.
I’m so certain that it’ll end with a big fat, “I told you so!”

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Open Letter to the NRA

Dear NRA Leaders,

Hello! My name is Mariann and I am the mother of four children, whom I LOVE more than anything. My love for them is what brings me to write this letter.
Midway through the year of 2011, I packed my four children up and moved across the country. I left behind my parents, my sibling, nieces, nephews, aunts, cousins, friends and neighbors, many of whom I’ve known for the last thirty years of my life.

Our drive down to Texas!

Our drive down to Texas!

Mainly, I did this because I wanted save my teenage son. You see, Detroit has become the belly of the beast, as it pertains to crime and violence. Crime has soared beyond the perimeter of the clouds and gun violence is amongst the highest in the nation. The homicide rate for black males is astronomical.
As I already stated, I love my teenage son. He’s my firstborn and I didn’t want to lose him to a bullet. So it was best for me to relocate somewhere completely foreign to us. Even if it meant leaving behind everything and everyone with which I was familiar.
When we’d safely moved away I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I was amazed that we’d successfully escaped. We’d escaped the vicious threat of unnecessary, untimely, senseless violence and/or a tragic death,  which would’ve  likely brought itself, unsolicited, to my front doorstep. Just as it had to so many of my fellow Detroit parents, attempting to raise their children within city limits.
I can’t help but feel that the life of a black teenage boy isn’t respected. Not by his peers, not by the law, not the gun lobbyist, the NRA, Washington and especially not by the urban law enforcement; seeing that no one has ever taken any measures to curtail the threat to their existence.
I called myself moving from that lack-a-daisy inner city attitude (as it pertained to my son) and into an area where he’d have a better chance at surviving his childhood and teenage years.
In my mind, the suburbs had to be better than the urban cement jungle. Right?
Well, I was partially right.
This last year and a half, I got the best sleep ever.  I haven’t slept so soundly, since becoming a mother nearly sixteen years ago. I was able to sleep comfortably because my child, my children were safe.  Not only were they safe, but they were also free.
No longer was I hesitant to let them walk to the neighborhood store. Now they could go outside and play, as children ought to be, without the constant threat of gunshots ringing out!
For the first time, in a really long time, I’ve been able to let my mommy guard down, rest and exist in peace.
Now what I’d like you to do is imagine how pissed I was when that peace was unexpectedly  interrupted and that protective mommy guard had to go back up!
July 2012 is when that maniac walked into that Colorado movie theater, in suburban Aurora, and opened fire on audience members waiting to view a movie.
Imagine the terror that infringed upon my person when I learned of that tragedy. Especially since my teens are at the movie theatre every free chance that they get.
With that horrific incident I was back in full mommy protection mode.
But wait Mr. NRA leader and other NRA people. It gets even worse! Just when enough time had passed, I started thinking, “that was an isolated incident, not likely that it’ll happen again.”
I, along with the rest of the nation, receive another punch in the gut, this pass December.
It goes without saying, our schools are suppose to be one of the safest places for our children, next to our own homes. It’s suppose to be that lone place, outside of home, where you can let your guard down and know without a shadow of a doubt, that your child is protected.
Never once did any of those Newtown parents think that they were sending their children into the direct line of fire. Never did it cross any of their minds that, “Today! A mad gunman could shoot his way into my child’s school and commit a heinous crime against them!” Never once did any one of them consent to sending their beautiful and innocent children onto a battlefield that December morning.
Those are NOT the thoughts that we, as parents,  have when we send our babies off to school! It’s not what we think about when we purchase tickets to watch a movie or when we pull into the parking lot of the local mall to go shopping.
When did going on about our daily lives, begin to mean that a little bit of deadly gun violence can be inserted in there, at any moment? When did our beautiful nation become an open battlefield? When did the American people become moving targets?

As that mother of four who fled to a suburban Texas city to flee the inner city gun violence, in order to save my oldest son, I want you to know I’m back to being filled with constant worry. My thoughts, days and nights are back to being consumed with being their protector.
Understand this, not only am I back to being concerned for the safety of my teenage son, but now I’m just as concerned for the safety of his siblings! I’m concerned times four now. Way more than before!

The open and constant threat of gun violence is no longer reserved primarily for the young black males that roam through the inner city. It has broken rank and has penetrated the beautiful folds of suburbia.
It has presented itself in the workplace, shopping centers, college campuses, high school campuses, and sadly elementary school campuses. So yes! I’m back. I’m back to worrying each and every single time I or my four children leave the safety of our home.
It’s clear that gun violence will rear its ugly head whenever and wherever. Gun violence is no longer reserved for certain areas, times, days or people. The threat is constant for everyone and can present itself anywhere and at anytime!
NRA Leaders, this doesn’t have to be. The American people don’t have to live under the constant threat of gun violence. The American people shouldn’t have to live in fear. They shouldn’t have to wonder nor anticipate when and where the next shocking and tragic act of gun violence will occur. Why does this have to be America’s new normal?
It’s no secret that the current president and his administration are not friends of yours. But if only, for the sake of the American people and being an American and loving this nation, as you so loudly proclaim, can the common sense measures that everyone agrees upon be taken? Can we agree to implement those laws? Can those be the first steps taken?
Mothers and fathers, such as myself, would like nothing more than to get back to our old normal?
For the sake of our children and our sanity, shed the labels and erase the party lines. Let’s stop the finger-pointing and find solutions. Let’s get back using common sense. Let’s get back to the times where people meant more than the right to possess guns. Let’s get back to being caring Americans. More importantly, let’s get back to being human.

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I want to successfully usher each of my children into adulthood. I want to experience high school and college graduations. I want to witness the big weddings. I want to see my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren! Those are the things that I, and a whole lot of other parents want. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for.
We just want to live.
We want to get back to the way things use to be.

Sincerely,

Mariann

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I’m Most Afraid Of

Disappointing them…..

 

I just don’t want to let them down!

No parent does.

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Me Reincarnated!

Fututre author, eh?

Writing and Scratch-offs? Yep! She’s my clone alright!

Proud momma moments!

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Online Dating for this almost Single Mama

For the last few weeks, one of my good girlfriends has been relentlessly pushing for me to try online dating. “You need to meet some new people!” Is what she tells me. That’s immediately followed by, “Just give it a try! It’s so fun!” Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! My response is always, “Nah! That’s not for me. I’ll just focus on the relationship that I’m in.” Blah, blah, blah, blah!                                                                                         Now my girlfriend, she’s very spontaneous and I’m a watcher. She’ll just go for it. Whereas with me, it takes a long time (sometimes years) before I can develop a meaningful relationship of any kind and with ANYone. That includes friendships, coworkers, associates, neighbors, etc. I’ve always been this way, but I’m even more like this because of the fact that I have children. I’m very cautious as to who I allow into my space because whatever happens (be it good or bad) affects me and the four of them.                                                                                                              Getting back to the topic of online dating, not that I was ever consciously considering it in the least bit, but why did I hear of three online dating nightmares within two days? (head cocked to the side). One lady wound up with a deranged stalker on her hands, another was out $7,000 and the last woman, was swindled out of her newborn baby. I guess if my subconscious was in any way reconsidering and rehashing the idea of giving online dating a try, these back-to-back-to-back incidences put a halt to that! Hearing those stories assured me that I’ve made the best decision. I’m sure there’s many success stories when it comes to online dating, and you can meet a crazy just about anywhere these days. You don’t have to go online to run across that problem. My overall point is, I’m going to stick to what and who I (already) know. It works for me. Albeit, my current relationship has transitioned into being a long distance one, it’s still mines and it’s working (at least today it is). As for online dating and this almost single mama, I’ll just leave that for those who are more optimistic than I. Happy Dating!

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It’s day #7 of the Christmas break (not including the weekends) and for my household that means all four of my children have been home day in and day out! Instead of just having the younger two of the bunch with me from sun up to sun back up, all four of them have been with the momma! Admittedly, I thought I’d had pulled my hair out and be en route to the local insane asylum by now, but it has been the exact and complete opposite around here! As a family of six (including Dooney the Dog) we’ve been enjoyable and in close proximity of one another. We prepared Christmas dinner and dessert together. We’ve watched TV and even played the video games together. We’re adapting quite well to our new lives and our new place of living. I’m happy that we’re growing together and we’re learning to appreciate having one another.  Truly enjoying this Christmas vacation…kids, dogs, friends, distance, wine and all!

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Being Mommy…No Walk in the Park

I don’t know, but for some reason I always thought that the mommy role would get easier as the children got older and older.Well, as my children get older, and delve further into their teenage years, I’m seeing firsthand that I was way off with my thinking. Being a mother, especially a single mother, is no walk in the park, and from the looks of it, it never will be…..EVER! It doesn’t get any easier, no matter how much the children age, and grow up. That’s NOT what I’ve been widely expecting and anticipating, all of these years! I’ve been so looking forward to the lightning of the mommy load!

So what I’ve learned is this: As the children move on to become teenagers/young adults, the late night feedings, carrying of diaper bags, loading of strollers, and car seats all go away, but in comes an entirely different slew of issues. For instance, I have a girl crazed teenager (and the girls are as equally crazed over him) who wants to hang out, listen to loud music, socialize via all the social media networks, go back and forth with the yo-yo grades….blah, blah, blah….and the list could go on and on and on. My point is, the baby issues have all gone away and now the teenager issues have arrived, and they’re here with a vengeance! Oh how I long for the stroller, diaper bag, immunization days!

The load of being mommy and the sole parent hasn’t lightened up any, in fact things seem to be heavier than ever! It’s all good, though! The job is trying, but it’s not impossible. I just have to restrategize and reconfigure my parenting plan. I’m sure I’ll be just fine!

Can you imagine going through the baby phase and adolescence phase at the same time?

 

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