Tag Archives: teen sex

Teen Sex in Your Home

The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mines (she’s from Sweden) about this current generation of kids, and how they are compared to how we were growing up. Imagine my surprise when she told me that it’s the norm for Swedish teens to have sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends AT HOME! There’s no need to sneak and do it while mom and dad are out or at work. You can do “it” with their blessings, right in the bedroom that they provide for you! Has your mouth dropped open like mines did while she was telling me this? I was totally flabbergasted! I kept asking over and over again, to make sure I’d heard it right. The teens of Sweden are allowed to have sex in their parents homes, and it’s considered to be part of the norm?!? YES!

I guess I can’t imagine having sex in my bedroom with my parents downstairs or right in the next room. Better yet, when my parents think about sex and me, at 35 years old, I’m hoping they think I only did it four times, and that’ll be the four times that I became pregnant, and had children because of it! I don’t want my parents to relate sex and me together, let alone hear me having it! But any who….

So my girlfriend goes on to tell me, parents over there just accept the fact that it’s a part of life and their children are going to have sex, like it or not! Providing a safe and comfortable place to do it, is better than the kids sneaking off doing it wherever they can. The question was then posed to me, “wouldn’t I rather my daughter (whose 13) have sex where I know she’s safe, where she’s not being forced or talked into doing something that she doesn’t want to, and she’s prepared?” To answer that, I always want my children to be safe. I always want to do what I think is best for them. But, I know that I’ll never be comfortable with ANY of my children having sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends in my home. I definitely can’t see myself providing a safe haven for them to come sex in. Reason why? Maybe it’s because it’s not how I was raised. It’s probably how majority of Americans feel?  Maybe it’s because I think it’s a bit weird and disrespectful. I can’t pinpoint the exact reason, but I don’t ever believe that I’ll be okay with any of my minor children engaging in any kind of sexual acts with my blessings.

My Swedish friend has been in America for twenty years and she has semi-sort of become Americanized in respect to this matter. She’s not totally comfortable with her daughter having sex (which she hasn’t yet engaged in) in her house. She’s hoping that she never wants to, but if in fact she does, she will let her daughter utilize her own bedroom. She’d rather that her daughter be safe and in control. Opinions? Are Americans out of touch, or is it just me, whose out of touch? We will provide them with birth control, but letting them have sex in their bedrooms isn’t part of the package, or is it? Where do we expect for them to engage in sex? I’m so curious to hear the opinions of others.


Filed under Family, Motherhood, Observations, Raising Teenagers, Uncategorized

Who Needs Condoms?

I’ve only been a mother for fifteen years (well almost!) and I don’t think its anywhere near time for me to have the sex/condom talk with my oldest son! I mean, he’s still a child for goodness sake! Well, according to one of my girlfriends, she thinks that it has surpassed the time to have “the talk” with him! She believes that I’m way too late for having the initial talk, but that I need to talk to him about protecting himself from this point onwards. She also says that if I don’t want any grandchildren, then I also need to personally supply him with condoms! WHAT?!? When she told me that I became completely flabbergasted! I don’t know, but writing this even now has caused my heart to accelerate just a wee bit, and I’m sure my eyes are ready to pop right out of my head! I’m now sure if I’m just not ready for him to be at the point where “the talk” is needed (any parents WORSE nightmare) or if I truly deep down don’t believe we’ve reached that point. My friend thinks that I’m in denial, and I can’t say for sure! I NEED AS MUCH INPUT AS POSSIBLE!

Why are things always so easy when it comes to other people’s children? I do know if I don’t talk to him, someone else will…..or has!



Filed under Mothering, Parenting, Raising Teenagers, Uncategorized