Me on 2/15/2012

Morning after Valentine’s Day, last time I’ll ever spend a mushy holiday all alone, meaing “without a companion” alone. Not a card, not a call, not even a single rose petal–usually I feel no particular way about those kinds of days, but this year’s different.

Oldest two children up and out. Both make it on time to their respective bus stops. Tip-toeing around trying desperately to keep the volume to a minimum, don’t wanna wake the younger two children, before it’s absolutely necessary.

Doggie duty calls!

Warm, foggy very misty outside, yet the temperature is absolutely perfect. 70° and the sun hasn’t even rose.

Youngest two children still asleep! In that case, time for meditation!. I’ma do at least 20 minutes.

9 minutes later calling to check the balance on my credit card.

Enough available to go to the  supermarket.

Wake ’em up, clean ’em up, load ’em up!

Fill the cart to the brim, fingers crossed hope my card’s not declined (maybe I should put some stuff back!)

Breezed through the checkout line (by the skin of my teeth)

Home to unpack and put the groceries away (I bought ice crean, otherwise everything would’ve sat out waiting on those oler two to get home)

Water boiling in the kettle, ready for my tea. Foregoing the usual cappuccino this morning.

Online I go.

Games I’ll play, DM’s I’ll send until I can’t put my work off any longer.

Occupy the kiddies long to professionally answer calls.

Correspond via e-mail and Skype with my team.

Patiently waiting on more incoming calls

while I wait,  I imagine my next “morning after”  Valentine’s Day.

Working from Home, Not My Cup of Tea, Not for Me!

*Disclaimer* Please forgive any grammatical/spelling errors. Spell/Grammar check’s not working…for whatever reason. Enjoy!

I’ll be the first to say that I thought working from home was going to be the BOMB! Not only was I going to be in complete control of my work schedule (which is HUGE to me), but I was going to be home with my youngest two children. Ultimately that means I wouldn’t have to hire a nanny or find a daycare facility to put them in, and if you’re a working parent, you know that, that’s a very big deal~ no childcare expenses! I was going to be completely hands on!

I thought I had it all figured out! I’d start doing my work on the computer by 7:30, answer calls from my consultants and customers up until noon (during this same time, the youngest boy would do his homeschool lessons) then off to do some marketing for an hour or two (great thing is, the kiddies can ride along with me…..ususally this leads into nap time). My work day would end by three (with the exception of taking occassional calls from customers and consultants), dinner would be going by four, etc, etc., etc. by seven-thrity eight o’clock I’d be on my way to relaxing!

Well needless to say, pretty much none of my plan came to frutition. I haven’t once started work by 7:30, the boy hardly ever starts and/or complete any of his homeschool lessons before I’m ready to go marketing. My work day definitely ends by three, Baby Zayah makes sure of that, with her non-cooperating agenda! As for dinner, if it’s not a meal that I put in the slow cooker the night before or the morning of, it’s not making it into the oven by four (that has yet to happen). By 7 o’clock I’m on a WARPATH! I’m fussing, cussing and enraged! Relaxing? HELL!

Every single day has been chaotic, disorganized and pretty much unproductive, since I started working from home. Usually by the end of the day, the two youngest kiddies have pushed every single button that I possess and my patience for the older two (by the time they return home from a day at school) are nonexistent! They catch the brunt of my wrath, when they haven’t even done anything to deserve it! Our home is in complete and utter diasarray! By bedtime I’m always exhausted and I’ve accomplished very little with my days. With all of that being said, I’m returning back to working outside of the home! For all the reasons that I stated above, “No! I don’t feel guilty about changing my mind!” I gave it the “good old college try”! I’m happily returning to the rat race!

I care nothing about now having to hire a nanny. In fact, I’m looking forward to paying someone top dollar to come in and take care of them, even on my off days! I’m looking forward to having a weekly work schedule. I’m glad that I’ll have co-workers, someone to talk to and have lunch with during the middle of the day, that’s not a minor who needs me! I’m ecstatic about having my life (that exists outside of the home) back!

Final word: I figured out the hard way, that working from home with children roaming in and out of your work space, is not for me. It’s not an easy or light task. One has to be truly disciplined and organized. I am neither and  I accept that! I now know that I need to miss my children, just as they need to miss me, in order for us to appreciate each other!

So back into the workforce I happily go!