Open Letter: To My Daughters

I think it’s every mother’s dream to have a precious little daughter. We all want a daughter to dress up all pretty and comb her hair up into pigtails with the world’s prettiest bows. Each of would like to have that little girl who’ll grow up and one day be one of our closest friends. How lucky am I? I got blessed doubly — I have two of the world’s greatest girls, as my daughters.

My Two Girls!

Dear Girls,

Every day I express gratitude for both of you. I’m so proud to call myself your mother. I’ve loved each of you since the moment I learned of your existence. You two have a long lives ahead of you, still I’m extremely proud of who you are today.
My dream is for both of my girls to go out and bless the world with their strengths, charm and sheer awesomeness! Priceless traits that my parents blessed me with, I hope to continue passing onto the both of you.
I have no doubt that you two will change the world, as you’re armed with an exuberant amount of intelligence, charm, wit and brilliance.
No matter who or what comes up against you, keep your feet firmly planted and heels driven in the earth and always remember who you are, where you came from and what you’re capable of.
You are priceless prizes and nothing will ever change that! Remember to always use your powers for good (wink).

Love You Both Always,

Your Proud Mother

You’re Grown, Huh?

It’s not to often that my biggest girl does anything shocking or anything that’ll cause my jaw to drop. For the most part, she wants to stay on my good side and off of my blog and social media rants. She treads very lightly. She knows exactly how far to go before the wrath of momma comes in and takes over. So, imagine my surprise when my “conscientious” child took it upon herself to make a decision without being totally certain that she had my 100% guaranteed approval.  Needless to say, the biggest girl has made finally made her “it’s all about you…and not in a good way” blog post debut!

Well, about a month back my soon-to-be 14 year old,  made a decision unbeknownst to me. It was a choice that left me at a complete lost for words. I was so shocked that my jaw did actually drop. I was so shocked that I’m only now able to write a post about it!

This is how the oldest gal has looked for the last two years. This is who we’re all used to seeing on a daily basis. Okay? And like this:

One night while I was sitting out at the fire pit enjoying the company of a few friends and spirits, she and the littlest boy came over to reveal that she now looks like this!

(eye bulges practically out of my head!)

Here’s another view!

Oh! And, here’s a black and white view. Yeah, she’s taking black and white photos, too! 0_O

Although cutting her hair was something that we’d briefly discussed. I was shocked that she went and did it without me. I also felt like she did it sneakily because she waited until I was outside of the house and fully engaged with friends. Then she came strutting over to the fire pit area where we were sitting with a hoodie on, let me remind you that it was 80+ degrees outside. When I questioned her about the hoodie that’s when she  revealed her “haircut”.

Smart girl, huh? To do her big reveal while I was surrounded by people who would downplay the situation and keep me calm? She had it all well planned out, if I must say so.

I guess more than anything this hair cutting situation made me realize that my biggest gal is closer to be grown up, than she is to being a baby. She’s branching out more, becoming her own person, liking her own things and using her voice…..(respectfully, of course!)

So, I am learning to loosen up and let go a little bit. I always thought I’d welcome stages like this, but I’m more sad than I am happy.

It’s not about her cutting her hair, its way bigger than that.

She’s not my little four pound, twelve ounce preemie anymore. She’s growing up.

It was bound to happen!

 

 

First Day of Summer: Graduation 2012

Tonight one of my good girlfriend’s daughter graduated from high school. She attended one of the best academic schools in the city. I was absolutely jaw-dropped  shocked at the academic excellence of the vast majority of the students.

My mommy radar immediately went up and I began to strategize just how I’m going to get my own children focused on the exact same path of academic excellence.

I want that! I want my children to be amongst the top members of their class (if asking for them to be one of the top ten is too much). I want them to be recognized for their academic brilliance. Most importantly, I want the security in knowing that they’re going to be already in this life…..in this world.

This first day of summer vacay actually turned out to better than what I could’ve ever wanted it to be. A new desire was planted in me and now I’m going to see it to fruition.

If Only My Kids Would…..

Listen, hear and process the valuable lessons that are being handed down and over to them.

Nothing satisfies a mother/parent more than knowing that they’ve efficiently equipped their children to handle the ways of this world!

Feet, Ankles, Parenting

I smile to keep from crying

I pray to keep from making the same mistakes twice

Parenting is not as easy I imagined it would be

before I was a parent

Grateful that I have another chance to come closer to getting it right

It’s looking very promising!

Two years ago, I wrote  a blog post about how oral sex, amongst teens had become quite  the “norm”.  I remember how stunned I was, when I learned that my teenage son and his friends were receiving oral sex from two girls who they’d grown up with since they were Kindergarten age. That was the last thing, I expected to be going on with the kids on my block.  After I came to grips with the behavior that our kids were engaging in , I had  the famous  and very long “talk” with my son.  At the conclusion of our “talk” I pretty much knew that my words had fallen on death ears. He wasn’t going to stop or turn back into my sweet, innocent and undefiled child, in fact I knew that he was only going to up the ante and push the envelope even further. His hormones had been unleashed and set free, and there was nothing that I was going to be able to do, to curtail it.

Fast forward to today, oral sex is a thing of the past and they’ve vivaciously moved on to full-blown  bang down sex! I knew this day was coming, but I never thought I’d see the day when a mother would allow teenage, high school boys (who you don’t really know) to come into her home and have sex with her daughter, as if they’re married adults.  I’m completely baffled. Am I old school? Am I out of touch?

Okay. I get it. Teens are having sex. Yes. They’re doing it, plain and simple. I get all of that. But when did it become ideal to co-sign them having sex? When did the parents start actively assisting their children and making it vastly comfortable for them to be sexually active, particularly under their own roofs?

I finally accepted that my innocent baby boy is long gone, and I only have memories of him etched into my mind to rely on. I’m just now starting to wrap my head around the fact that girls are throwing themselves at his feet and they’ve made themselves readily available to him. But what I’ve refused to ever accept is that of willing participant. As a teen especially, but not even as an adult will he EVER have my blessing when it comes to his sexual life.

If I’m stuck in the past, then so be it. That’s where I’ll stay, before I ever say it’s okay for any of my children to march someone or anyone through the doors of my house, up to their bedrooms and engage in sexual acts with them. Not happening!

Let’s have a conversation: What’s your perspective? Do I need to get with the times? Do you care about being the “cool” parent to your child and their friends? Would you allow your house to be “that” house where all the kids flock to, to get it in?