Dooney Boy!

This post is in honor of the most dependent, yet my thoughtful member of our household: Mr. Dooney Bourke D.

Dooney
HOT MESS in action!!!

Dooney has been a part of our family for the last y years. He was given to us by a long time friend because of his anxious and destructive behavior. Needless to say, he has been very destructive in our home, but he’s still overly anxious (separation anxiety to the MAX!). We when relocated from Michigan I thought about giving him to another family, because we didn’t know what to expect with the big move. I knew that whom ever I placed him with would have to be extremely patient, retired, boring, financially stable and an over-the-top dog lover. I knew the chances of me finding someone to meet that criteria would be slim to none, which is how he wound up moving to Texas with us. Plus, I just couldn’t and didn’t want to leave him behind. He is a unit of our family and we love him too much to abandon him!

Dooney
So Fresh and So Clean!!!

 

20 Years Already?

Yesterday I was on a conference call with about eight members from my graduating class of 1994. We were discussing our upcoming two decade class reunion. Even though it’s still two years away, we’re starting to prepare and get things in order now.

While it was exciting to engage and hear the familiar voices of my fellow ’94 Mackenzie Stags, it was then, during that call, when reality snuck up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

“It’s been twenty years? It’s been twenty years! I’ve been out of school twenty years? I’ve been out of school for twenty years! OH, MY GOD!”

Right then and there, my entire body was consumed with goose bumps at the realization that so much time has indeed passed.

To be more exact, it has been eighteen years, one month and eighteen days since Mackenzie’s graduating class of 1994 gathered at the Chene Park Amphitheater, in downtown Detroit, right smack dab in the middle of a heat wave, to signify the successful completion of our “wonder years”. It would be the last time that all three hundred and eleven graduating seniors would ever be together under one roof. I remember the entire scenario being such a big deal to me, so much so, that I cried and sniffled nonstop, throughout the ceremony.

I sat there rationalizing the fact that, I’d gone to school with these people for the last four years, some for even longer than that. I’d formed a bond with these people. They were very much a part of my daily life, as I was theirs. We were truly a family. Now I was being forced to let go and move into my own destiny by myself, and without them?

Those are the thoughts that consumed my mind on that extremely hot and sticky graduation day.

Here comes the infamous cliché: “Seems like only yesterday” that I was actually living that moment, expressing those feeling, crying those tears and coming to those realizations.

It’s been nearly twenty years and it’s good to know that some things never change. Everything that I felt on June 15, 1994 all came back to me yesterday as I sat, listening in on that conference call.

I smiled as I listened to the grown-up versions of those same ’94 Stags as we compromised, made plans and took on responsibilities. I chuckled as jokes were made, as teeny tiny jabs and sweet natured pot shots were taken. I was so relieved that we were able to successfully pick right up where we left off, nearly two decades ago earlier. Everyone was them same, just as I remembered them.

Yes! Twenty years post-high school graduation is steadfast approaching and I’m so welcoming of it, so much has been accomplished and there’s so many worthwhile memories left to be made!

Admittedly, I was feeling old at just the mention of a twenty year high school class reunion, but just the fact that I’m still here and able to participate is also worth celebrating!

Embracing the maturation!

 

Some of David Mackenzie’s graduating class of ’94

Porn and Your Child

This child has not been found guilty of any pornography watching. He has yet to reach the statistical age of 11. Whew! (wipes forehead)

Does anyone find it alarming that the average age at which a child, is thought to,  view pornography for the first time is age 11?  To me, it’s startling, alarming and upsetting, particularly since I have four children of my own. On top of that, two of my four children have yet to reach the age of 11. I have one boy and one girl child left, under that statistical age, and those statistics really make me nervous. I don’t want my pre-adolescent children viewing porn, and I don’t want them thinking that it’s okay, if they do. That leads me to the reason that I wrote this post. Have my older two children, who have surpassed the previously mentioned statistical age,  ever surfed the web for pornography? Have they watched XXX movies or looked in the adult magazines?

Before talking to my children, I first decided to talk to several of my friends to get their perspective on children/teens and porn. After speaking to them, admittedly I was rather surprised at their responses. No one was as shocked and dismayed as I was. In fact, they made me feel as if I was totally overreacting and going overboard. Basically, everyone was taking it all in stride. I heard a lot of, “Their boys. What do you expect?” “It’s natural, that’s what boys do.” “Oh, girl! That’s nothing!” I seem to be the only mother/parent/person bothered by the fact that their teenage child and their friends may enjoy looking at pornographic images of women. Am I overreacting? Am I not well within my rights to be flabbergasted?

Seriously, I feel so lost. When did this become the societal norm? When did kids and porn, or teens and porn become socially acceptable? I swear, I feel so behind in the times. I completely missed the memo, in regards to this!

Back in the day, I remember the boys sneaking to look at their dad’s, uncle’s, older brother’s and cousin’s Playboy and Hustler magazines. I remember when they would cleverly watch the XXX rated video tape that was left in the VCR. Once they finished watching, they’d rewind the tape back to the exact spot where they initially found it. Point is, the kids got their hands on the porn back in the day too,  but it was accessed sneakily.

Upon speaking with my oldest boy, I nearly went into a series of convulsions, when I learned that he and his friends have adopted the same lack-a-daisy mindset, that it is normal to look at porn. They also think that it’s okay to exchange sexual images by way of their cellular phones and email accounts (which is another topic, to be discussed at a later date). They said, “Everyone does it! It’s no big deal.”

In my opinion, teens are going beyond pushing the envelope, while adults are just so carefree. I previously read an article written by another concerned mom, in regards to her teenage son watching porn on his laptop, and the comments she received were pretty nasty. She was completely villainized by the readers. For the most part, they felt like she was out of line for looking through his laptop. They said she completely embarrassed him and violated his trust. They also said that he wasn’t engaging in anything abnormally. The comments went on for days.  Although I didn’t leave a comment, I was totally on the side of the mother. I, too, feel like some things are to be reserved for adults and your adult years. I don’t think that it’s okay or acceptable for my teenage son or daughter to seek out pornographic images on the computer, their cellular phones or any other technological device. I refuse to believe that I’m the only mother/adult who feels this way. Whatever your opinion, I’d love to hear it. What’s your perspective on the matter? Have you had to deal with it? If so, how did you handle it?

All perspectives are respected.

 

You’re Grown, Huh?

It’s not to often that my biggest girl does anything shocking or anything that’ll cause my jaw to drop. For the most part, she wants to stay on my good side and off of my blog and social media rants. She treads very lightly. She knows exactly how far to go before the wrath of momma comes in and takes over. So, imagine my surprise when my “conscientious” child took it upon herself to make a decision without being totally certain that she had my 100% guaranteed approval.  Needless to say, the biggest girl has made finally made her “it’s all about you…and not in a good way” blog post debut!

Well, about a month back my soon-to-be 14 year old,  made a decision unbeknownst to me. It was a choice that left me at a complete lost for words. I was so shocked that my jaw did actually drop. I was so shocked that I’m only now able to write a post about it!

This is how the oldest gal has looked for the last two years. This is who we’re all used to seeing on a daily basis. Okay? And like this:

One night while I was sitting out at the fire pit enjoying the company of a few friends and spirits, she and the littlest boy came over to reveal that she now looks like this!

(eye bulges practically out of my head!)

Here’s another view!

Oh! And, here’s a black and white view. Yeah, she’s taking black and white photos, too! 0_O

Although cutting her hair was something that we’d briefly discussed. I was shocked that she went and did it without me. I also felt like she did it sneakily because she waited until I was outside of the house and fully engaged with friends. Then she came strutting over to the fire pit area where we were sitting with a hoodie on, let me remind you that it was 80+ degrees outside. When I questioned her about the hoodie that’s when she  revealed her “haircut”.

Smart girl, huh? To do her big reveal while I was surrounded by people who would downplay the situation and keep me calm? She had it all well planned out, if I must say so.

I guess more than anything this hair cutting situation made me realize that my biggest gal is closer to be grown up, than she is to being a baby. She’s branching out more, becoming her own person, liking her own things and using her voice…..(respectfully, of course!)

So, I am learning to loosen up and let go a little bit. I always thought I’d welcome stages like this, but I’m more sad than I am happy.

It’s not about her cutting her hair, its way bigger than that.

She’s not my little four pound, twelve ounce preemie anymore. She’s growing up.

It was bound to happen!