Writing Hiatus….Over!

Ahhhhhh……

alas the self-inflicted torture of not being allowed to write is finally over and done with! Whew! My consistent readers and blog followers may have noticed my absence from the blogging world, these last few weeks, and I promise not to leave you again. Well, I went on a hiatus from writing because I’d gotten to the point where I was unfocused and I started taking it for granted. My attitude towards my gift of writing became extremely lackluster, and as a result my writing become monotone, mediocre and inconsistent. I needed time to miss it so that I could in return, begin to respect and appreciate it….again!

Opportune Day!

I chose today as my day of re-entry to the world of writing because it also marks the 35th year of my original birth. Today is the day of my initial birth, as well as my rebirth. It’s the day that I start utilizing and taking advantage of the gifts given to me. Today is the day that I start implementing the balance between being Mariann and being the mommy.  It’s the day that I stop allowing my past bad choices to hold me hostage! Today is the day that I get over it, and move on! It’s the day that I stop over thinking and over-analyzing every situation. I’m in the “second quarter” of my life and I have a huge gap to close before I reach “half time”. Today is the day that I begin enjoying all that I’ve accomplished thus far. It’s today that I’ll begin appreciating where I am, and where I’m soon to go!

….so Thankful for another chance, at getting it right!

 

 

 

 

Change. Do I have the Right?

Yesterday evening I discovered my second strand of white hair. I was so shocked to see it, that I accidentally dislodged it from my head. After looking at it for a few seconds I chucked it away. Long after analyzing the single strand of white hair I found myself feeling some kind of way. That single strand of short white hair forced me to realize that I’m changing. Each and every day, I’m changing. With every passing moment and second, I am changing. Not just aging, but I’m changing. I’m changing from this person that I’ve known for so long to someone brand new. What I’m wondering is, do I have the right? Do I have the right to change and evolve into someone new, someone with different expectations, perspectives and perceptions? Is it fair to undergo this extreme metamorphosis, then expect those who’ve been a long-term part of my life, to get in line with the new me?

As I’m getting older, I’m starting to change into this woman, whom I’ve never wanted any part of before. I’m starting to be less hard and rough around the edges, and more soft, sweet and motherly. I’m less impatient and temperamental.  I’m beginning to desire affection and love, when before I would push that form of closeness away. Having a relationship with my soul mate, and having him here with me at the end of the day seems to have become one of my top priorities. The question that I keep coming back to is, do I have the right to ask and/or require something different from him, after having our relationship work so well after all of these years? Is it selfish of me to change things up right smack dab in the middle of our adventure together, especially when this is and has been working so well for us? Well, just as I keep being bombarded by the same questions I also keep arriving at the same conclusion, change is inevitable. In lots of cases, there’s no control over change, for instance my white strands of hair, or my children growing into their own independence.  We don’t get a whole lot of say-so when it comes to change, yet it’s bound to happen, and we have no choice other than to accept it.

Though it’s different from my usual norm, I’m starting to embrace the changes that are going on with my body, in my mind, and with my heart…..I might as well, seeing that they’re going to happen with or without my blessing. I’m learning to savour the taste of unforeseen circumstances, in fact I’m developing an acquired palette for them.

I want what I want, and I still am who I am…while constantly evolving!

…..and YES! I have every right!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkJ15mN6nUc

From Urban to Suburban

Comfortably I rock untied Adidas Top Ten’s, I listen to my music absurdly loud, I wear tiny tight T-shirts (sometimes the ones with derogatory remarks written on them) that don’t hesitate to show off my belly button, my pants somtimes sag, I got a few tattoos,  I cuss relentlessly, I’m a wee bit loud and I don’t reserve my feelings for any occassion (especially when I know for a fact that I’m right). I don’t scare easily (coming from the inner city of Detroit, who does?), I’m extra opinionated and even more than that, I’m deeply educated. I’m comfortable in my skin and with being who I am. I’m not a health nut, I eat whatever I feel like and I refuse to work out more than three times a week! I’m spiritual, yet I’m not religious. You won’t catch me in a minivan, and I’m anything other than politically correct! I LOVE my President (Go Obama!), and I’ll openly declare that I’m a Democrat, in this big, wide open Republican state! My attitude is simply: It’s cool if you like me, but you don’t necessarily have to, yet you will respect me….and vice-versa, I have no problem with offering up the same in return. I have no superior that I answer to, nor a partner that I confer with. I’m single and I make all the decisions. I don’t, won’t and refuse to ever fit into this ideal suburban soccer mom mold! So folk! PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TRYING TO CONVERT ME!

Now don’t get me wrong, these ideal molds are good for some people, just not me! They work for a whole lot of people, just not Me! I’ve ALWAYS stood separately from everyone else (Hell! Shoot me! It’s just how I was raised!) and on top of that I just HATE STEREOTYPES! I LOVE my FREEDOM, and I exercise it daily and to the fullest! Question is, how does this chick go from urban to suburban successfully…..meaning without being offensive?

Instead of simply blending in, I just continue to be who I am, who I’ve been, and who I’ll always continue to be! If one is offended by that, then that’ll remain their problem to deal with.  I’m still Mariann the semi-sort of single, mother to four, uniquely designed, creatively crafted, extra educated, well-rounded, open-minded, strong-minded and willed, fashion savvy chick-a-dee from Detroit….ask me again and I’ll tell you the same!

I make absolutely no apologies for me, and what’s more intriguing than the mini list of things about me, is that I’ve cloned myself and my entire personality times four, each of my offspring are threatening to be just like me, which is an EXCELLENT thing. =)

PEACE!.!.