After much convincing, my girlfriends talked me into going to Happy Hour at a local Steakhouse this evening. With the exception of me, everyone has met up and gone, the last two Fridays. I just didn’t want to be in the bar atmosphere, so I opted out of going with them. One of my friends found a little steakhouse to go to instead of going to a “bar”, so I agreed to go there.
I’ve been so looking forward to today, so much so that I figured out what I was going to wear and laid it all out the other day. I’ve even gone so far as to prepare my children for my going on. I’ve told them, “I’m going out with the girls for a little while Friday. I won’t be gone long, in fact, it’ll still be a little light outside when I get back home.” I successfully got all of them on board with my going out.
I’ve really been excited about going out, sitting around eating, drinking and talking with my girls ………………………………………………….. all-for-NOTHING!
The organizer of this little shindig, sent all of us a text message a little while ago, explaining that she’s not feeling well and would like to reschedule for next Friday. Sadly, I agreed to meet up next week.
Turns out, I’ll be doing tonight, what I’ve mastered to do best watching television in my bedroom, by myself!
No “Happy Hour” for me!
P.S. I know the kids are going to be happy!
Let me start by saying that I am and have been in a relationship for an extended amount of time with the same person, with whom I have children with, but since we aren’t legally married I categorize myself as being a “single mother”. With that being said, I’ve been a mother for nearly sixteen years and there hasn’t been a single time that I didn’t live up to my end of the bargain when it comes to being a parent. I’ve never ran away from my responsibilities, never tried to push my responsibilities off on someone else, never neglected nor attempted to act like my responsibilities didn’t exist.
I’m that mother who doesn’t live this life through my own eyes. I don’t make decisions based on what I want. Before making any decisions I look at what effect that decision is going to have on each of my children. Their wants and needs come before my own and definitely before anyone else. I believe most great and exceptional parents, parent in this manner or in a very similar manner. It less about self and more about supplying our offspring with the absolute best tools in order to be successful and have a very enjoyable life. Now do we deserve any credit for that? Nah. I’ll be the first to say, we don’t deserve any special recognition or pats on the back for doing what we’re suppose to and signed up to do. However, I do say that because I’ve never negated my parenting duties and since I’ve been fully engaged from day one, I have all say so when it comes to my children. I have earned the right to NOT confer with ANYONE when it comes to them and their well-being. I have any and all rights as they pertain to my children. I feel absolutely no obligation to inform, notify or co-parent with an absentee person. I think it’s absolutely CRAZY and makes no sense to report my business and my child’s business to an individual who is not engaged and not participating in their life! Am I wrong? What’s your perspective? Share. I’d love to have this conversation.
Oh yes I did! I called the Harris County Sheriff on my two oldest children. After weeks and weeks of constant and consistent bickering back and forth, it came to a head Thursday night. My fifteen year old son and thirteen year old daughter got into a pushing match and that was the final straw! I separated them and when they decided to continue with the fussing, cussing, trying to get at each other, my last button had been pushed. As far as I was concerned they’d drawn the line in the sand, crossed it and the disrespect just blew by all boundaries! Being newly moved to Texas, I don’t know the laws when it comes to parenting and I didn’t want to “catch a case” which is exactly why I called the LAW! Need I say, that they both were completely shocked and flabbergasted when they heard me on the phone with the 911 operator.
Well, the oldest boy ran over to the clubhouse to call my mother (in Detroit) while the oldest gal strutted around the place without a worry. She only started worrying when I informed her that I’d called on BOTH of them, not just him, and as far as I was concerned, they both were getting taken the hell out of here. Imagine her surprise!
By the time that the officer arrived, Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield had tucked themselves into their beds (as if that was going to keep the police from coming). The officer had each of them explain what’d happened, he then went on to inform them that the State of Texas allows parents to discipline their children, and that I wouldn’t be breaking any laws if I knocked the hell out of them (those are my words). He looked around the room and pointed out that they didn’t need big flatscreen TVs, Xboxs or Playstations with the way the that they were behaving. He gave them a stern warning and some great advice (about being brother and sister and sticking together). He declined to arrest either of them on domestic abuse charges (since no one was hurt and there weren’t any signs of physical abuse) but he did file a formal complaint, which a detective will handle from this point onward.
I’m glad that I did what I did. By getting the police involved I showed them that I’m serious and I also learned my rights as a parent in this state. The bottom line is this: I’m not a referee. I’m not about to waste energy on negotiating peace between the two of them for a second longer. No more! I’m not doing it anymore! From now on I will call the police and next time I will allow them to be removed from the premises. Hopefully they won’t be foolish enough to call my bluff.
One way or another there will be peace in my home. They can do it the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is absolutely theirs!