Numbers Trumps Feelings Part II

So after being rejected for entrance into third grade for the 2011-2012 school year, I withdrew my son and decided to utilize Connections Academy curriculum to home school him.
Well, after a few weeks, I decided that Connections Academy was too structured and fast-paced for my liking. We withdrew from the program and opted to use our own curriculum, based on Texas educational standards. Our main focus were going to be  on reading, math, penmanship and the Texas State Start Test.
Monday through Friday,  the Littlest Boy and I worked diligently and hard to succeed in our quest to prove all of those teachers and administrators wrong. We were so motivated. All school year we worked extraordinarily hard.
Over the summer, we continued to study and read daily. By the time enrollment came around, for the 2012-2013 school year, we’d successfully completed all of the third grade curriculum and had even gone so far as to begin working on a fourth grade curriculum.
I proudly went back to the school and enrolled the Littlest Boy in fourth grade on a Monday. I was so eager to show him off, all of his work and what he’d accomplished. I could hardly contain my excitement as I filled out the enrollment forms.
I successfully enrolled him for fourth grade and we were scheduled to meet the fourth grade teacher on Wednesday, during “Meet the Teacher” night.
Well, Tuesday I received a phone call from the school’s principal. She called to tell me that she wanted to place my son in third grade, for the upcoming school year, instead of fourth grade.
Her words: “I know he’s age appropriate for fourth grade, but I think third grade is where he’ll be most successful. And, his being successful is my first priority.”
There is where I cut her off, explained some things to her and said that a face-to-face meeting was necessary.
We didn’t get to meet the teacher on Wednesday because they didn’t assign my son a teacher, plus my meeting wasn’t scheduled until Thursday. Do I have to say that the boy was pretty bummed?
At the meeting I was met only by the principal and the assistant principal this time. They tried to bombard me with statements such as: We want him to be successful. His success is our top priority. It’s in his best interest. We can observe him for a week and if he’s exceeding in every ares of the third grade classroom, then we’ll move him to the fourth grade class, yada yada yada!
My question was: Is this the protocol for all homeschooled students who are returning to the traditional school setting?
Their corroborated answer: Well, we’re basing our recommendation on the same recommendation that we reached last year, before you withdrew him.
Me: Well, why aren’t recommending that he goes back to second grade, since that was your last recommendation?
Them: No answer. (Literally, they had no response. Neither of them.)
Me: So it doesn’t matter that I used a State of Texas third and fourth grade curriculum to home school him?
Principal: Unless you kept grades in a grade book, then we’d consider that. Or if you have report cards.
Me: Well, what about  all of this school work that I have here, that he did! Can you test him?
Principal: He’ll have to score 90% or better in every test area, to be placed in his correct grade. It’s pretty rigorous.
Me: Sounds like it’s next to impossible for him or any child to pass.
In the end, I walked out of that school without having accomplished anything.  If ever I felt prejudged in my life, it was in this situation. From the moment I handed those administrators my son’s records from “Detroit, MI” until I walked out the front door for the absolute last time.
They didn’t even give my child a chance. They judged him (misjudged him, if I may add) no sooner than they learned that we were from Detroit. I felt bad for my son. He’d worked so hard and they would never know how awesome he is and how much he’d accomplished educationwise because they’d already had their small minds made up about him.

After speaking to several teachers in Katy ISD they concurred what I’d suspected the previous school year: Eff your feelings! Our test scores mean way more than you and your child’s feelings. Eff that you two worked hard all school year. Eff that you tested him and he tested above grade level. Eff all that! We take the Star test in November and we’re not about to chance effing up our scores, all because you decided to drag your little Detroit half-educated child down here to our magnificent school!

They weren’t interested in none of his school work that I’d bought to the meeting. They didn’t care to hear him read, witness his ability to comprehend what he’d read, they didn’t want to see him write, or care that he knew his multiplication facts, fractions, how to tell time, count money, place values or read a number line.
None of that mattered.
State and district test scores are all that matter!

Three months into the school year and I’m ecstatic with the progress that my little homeschooler is making. He was disappointed that he wasn’t going to attend school with his peers, but he’s since gotten over it. He’d rather stay home and do school than to do third grade work again.
I considered going to the PTA and the district Superintendent about this matter, but after speaking to several teachers and parents I knew my efforts would be in vain. I wouldn’t be exposing any dirty little secrets. I wouldn’t be blowing the whistle on anything that the district wasn’t already aware of.
So what would be my next course of action? How about exposing them to the very passionate and extremely opinionated world of blogging moms, dads, cousins, uncles, aunties, grandparents, etc.?
I’m eager to see their reaction to being bombarded!

The Littlest Boy reading. Reading slightly above grade level! Take that, West Memorial Elementary!

 

Numbers Trumps Feelings Part I

When I first started considering the idea of relocating my family, the one thing that concerned me most was, taking my children from a lackluster educational environment to a phenomenal one. I knew (without truly knowing) that the Texas school curriculum was going to be more advanced and rigorous, than what we’d grown accustomed to in Michigan.
Out of my three school-aged children, I was only concerned for the younger two.
Two of my children have the tendency to start the school year off on the weak side. They struggle in mainly in the area of reading (on and above their grade level). But with my usual and constant help, along with a willing, supportive and patient teacher, I was certain that both of them would be able to kick it in high gear and get on the same page as their peers.
Last school year, we arrived nearly a month after the start of Texas schools. This concerned me because it wasn’t advantageous for two of my three.  But, I stayed positive and got them enrolled in their respective schools and grades.  My oldest was a high school freshman, the second child was an eighth grader and bringing up the rear was my youngest son, a new third grader!

As expected, my oldest blended right in. He picked up on the curriculum, as if he’d been doing it all his life. Easy Peasy! Much to my surprise, the second child also jumped right in and blended effortlessly. Whew! That was such a shocker because she’d never done that before. Admittedly, it was such a relief! I had one less child to worry about!
Sadly though, it wasn’t seventy-two hours post-enrollment of my third grader that I got the anticipated call from a school administrator– She needed to meet with me concerning some observations that his teachers made.

To make a long story short, I expected there to be an issue with his reading, like I stated earlier. I was going into this meeting expecting that we’d put our heads together to devise a plan to help him be successful with his reading. Imagine my surprise, when I got everything  but that!
At the meeting I was bombarded by the assistant principal, two teachers, the reading specialist and some other administrator lady. I was told, “that after close observation we are worried with our findings”. (Remember: He was a student for less than seventy-two hours). He’s reading below grade level. He doesn’t know place values. He’s not able to add or subtract……”

They went on and on, with a list of things that they claim my third grader couldn’t do, before telling me that he needs to be placed back in second grade.

I was completely shocked and caught off guard! One, I was shocked by the long list of things that he “couldn’t” do. It was all untrue, with the exception of his reading below grade level (I tested him on everything that they pointed out, and he passed every area. This they would have known if they’d tested him or spent  some more time with him!).
Two, I was shocked that this was their first and only recommendation, and that they’d resorted to intimidation tactics to get me to go along with what they were saying.
Three, I  was shocked that no other factors were even taken into consideration.

My response: Woo! Really? This is the plan that you all came up with after knowing a student for barely two days? As an educator, putting a child back an entire grade would NOT be my first recommendation to a parent, especially after having a child come into the classroom nearly a month later than everyone else. I definitely would spend more than two days observing and getting to know him and his personality.
There are many factors that I would take into consideration before making such a drastic conclusion. The first being, he has relocated from across country. Second, he’s brand new to the school, to the classroom, to the teacher, to the students etc. Third, he’s a rather shy and quiet child. He doesn’t like to be put on the spot or embarrassed. Instead of answering a question and getting it incorrect, he’ll simply say, “I don’t know.” Lastly, I would invest more time in observing him, minimally two weeks. Then after all of that, I would tell the parents about my areas of concern and together we can work on those areas, to fight effortlessly to get him on the same path as everyone else. If after several weeks (before the oh-so important state testing) then if there’s no improvement, we can discuss options and devise another plan.
Holding a child back, is the last option, not the first option.
Even after all those well made points, they still wanted to put my son back an entire grade. They already had their minds made-up and they didn’t take anything that I said into consideration.
In my opinion, it would be easier for them to put him back. Putting him back meant no need to put in any extra effort towards ensuring his success. And, their numbers and test scores meant more than all of my points and his self-esteem combined. When I realized that this group of people didn’t have the best interest of my child front and center, I removed him from Katy ISD. I decided that I was going to home school him instead of leaving him at that school, with those people over him.

What I’ve learned since moving to this state and to this school district: Eff your feelings! Our numbers trump you and your kid’s feelings!

Up next: Numbers Trump Feelings Part II: What happened upon fourth grade enrollment?

 

Banned: My Beef With Microsoft and XBOX

2 of the 4 systems that I’ve purchased!

Last year I fell completely out of love with Microsoft because of the unfair and unexplained banning of my family’s Xbox 360. After our long haul to Texas and after hours of vigorously unpacking, my children were looking forward to jumping on their XBox Live accounts to talk to and play with their friends back home.

Imagine the surprise when they tried to log on to the LIVE accounts, only to find out that they couldn’t.  Reason why?  The system had been BANNED, and it’d been banned for life!

What? Huh?

Banned? What do you mean banned? Banned by who, for what and when?

I would soon learn, although  I have a million questions, not one of them will get answered  because they (meaning Microsoft and the terrible folks over at XBox) don’t have to. (SHOCKED FACE)

Moving forward with the story.

So after my Biggest Boy explains that the system has been banned (per the horrific people at XBox) I decided to call for myself. I figured that a  mistake occurred (on their part) and it would only take a few moments for an adult to get it corrected.

Upon speaking with a rep, I was told the same thing as my son. The system, which I’d recently spent over $400 bucks to purchase, had indeed been banned. When I asked why and when did this banning occur, I was informed that they’re not at liberty to give me ANY information. The rep claimed that the banning is done by another department and banning only occurs after a thorough investigation has been completed. I was assured that my system hadn’t been banned mistakenly.

Needless to say, I wasn’t satisfied with that answer and asked to speak with a supervisor. Well, the supervisor got on the line and basically said the same thing, so I requested to speak with his superior.

After days of being transferred  back and forth, and speaking with a number of useless people, I was no closer to getting the system “unbanned” or finding out why a banned occurred in the first place.

I stated my case to every single person that I’d spoken with. I, nor my children, had altered our system in any type of way. None of us (nor had any of our guests who bought their profiles over) violated any of the XBox LIVE rules (especially seeing that the system had been packed away for several weeks for our relocating) and the ban was unjustified. No one attempted to sympathize with at all, they all firmly maintained their positions and the position of XBox.

I feel like Microsoft/XBox has a hidden agenda for cleverly banning thousands and thousands of systems (I soon found out that we were not an isolated case). When your system is banned, its banned for life. Which means, any and every warranty that you have on it is voided. They will NOT service it any longer. Oh! But wait for it! You can still purchase expansions packs, Microsoft points, download games. They’ll still send advertisements to your e-mail account to make purchases. Oh yeah! And, they’ll still charge your credit card for XBox LIVE memberships. Basically, they back out of their end of the deal (unjustly) while continuing to take your money because that?  That they won’t ban!

I did ask for a refund for the XBox LIVE family memberships that I’d paid for (and still had 6 more months on). Of course, I was told, “Nope! We don’t issue refunds. Hey! But, you can use your LIVE membership on someone elses XBox system!”

Oh really? That’s all I got to do, huh? Take my four paid-in-full profiles over to a buddy’s of mines house and use them on their system?

Remind you! They haven’t told me “why” my system is banned. It could be because they’re claiming that we did something online which violates the XBox LIVE rules. YET! They advise me to utilize someone elses system. Why is that XBox LIVE people? Is it because you’d like nothing more than to unjustly ban another persons system?

To make this long story short.  I explained to every hearing ear, that I’ve been a long time and loyal customer of XBox and its products. In fact, I’ve purchased four systems, countless games, headsets, extra and special controllers, Microsoft points, expansion packs, steering wheels, carrying cases, downloads and tons of other gadgets that my children just had to have. But, no more! All of that has now come to an abrupt end. My children also have the competing system and I will now give my hard-earned dollars to them!

I’m aware that taking my dollars from Microsoft and their XBox company will not send them spiraling into bankruptcy, but word of mouth is a very powerful tool! I believe it’s the next best thing to giving my money to the direct competition! I explained this to the clever reps at XBox LIVE. I told them that I am a blogger and an avid social media engager. I will create a blog post about this entire situation, as well as Tweet and make Facebook status updates regarding it. Word of mouth can have a devastating, lasting and forever lingering impact. It has a tendency to do way more damage than a couple thousand dollars.

Since the folks at Microsoft’s XBox LIVE feel like customer satisfaction is no big deal, I don’t feel like it’s a big deal to tell how horrific my experience with them has been. I am hoping to get them to change their wicked customer service/satisfaction poilcy and also change the way that they handle wrongly banning their customers XBox systems!

Deep down I’m hoping that Microsoft’s XBox can make me fall back in love, again!

Have you had an encounter with Microsoft XBox? Has your system been unjustly banned? What’s your beef? I’d love to hear all about it.

One Year Ago….

….the four little’s, Dooney the dog,  and I arrived, for the very first time, to our new home and the state of Texas!

 

It’s hard to believe that an entire three hundred and sixty-five days have already passed since we transitioned our lives from Michigan and away from everyone that we knew. It was and remains one of the hardest (and necessary) decisions of my life…..our lives.

Admittedly, relocating wasn’t as easy as it may come across. I had to deal with the school district wanting to place my littlest son back a grade level, my oldest boy experienced extreme culture and identity shock, while being in the midst of adolescence. My biggest gal was jockeying for her position in our family unit (which has been a huge headache), all this I endured daily, while chasing a 1-year-old toddler around from sun up to sun back down. Those are just the issues that I had to deal with concerning my children. I won’t even get into my own “grown-up adult” struggles. But, whatever the case, we made it! Happily and with a smile adorning my face, I can declare that we have, indeed, made it!

We have accomplished another one of the many goals that we’ve set for ourselves as a family, and it feels so good! Initially, we struggled to find our “Texas” footing, but we have managed to get on track. Everyone is happy and we have set lots of new goals for ourselves.

I definitely wanted to express how proud I am of us and thank everyone who has traveled this journey alongside us. My family back home, thanks for supporting my decision and us, as we transitioned. Thanks to everyone who rooted, pulled and prayed for us. Most importantly, thank you for tuning in to read, support, give advice and express your opinions on my blog posts.

I look forward to moving ahead with everyone continuing alongside us! Lots more adventures to come!

Us making our way to the Great State of TEXAS!

Us again! Really just getting started out on the road!

 

 

Our Children and the HPV Vaccine

Guarding Against HPV Is A Very Big Deal For Our Daughters And Our Sons!

In June 2006, the FDA approved the first HPV vaccine for girls and women. The human papillomavirus, widely known as HPV is the virus that’s associated with causing cervical cancer. It most commonly affects the genital area of males and females, in the form of warts, but it can also affect the mouth and throat areas, as well.  HPV is passed through sexual intercourse and is therefore classified as a sexual transmitted infection (STI). HPV is the most common STI in the United States. According to the CDC, at least 50% of sexual active people will contract HPV at some time in their life. HPV transmission and contraction was teetering on becoming an epidemic! The CDC wanted to cut this borderline epidemic off at the source, which is why the FDA approved a vaccination against HPV for boys and men, in 2009.

Due to the alarming statistical rates of HPV contraction, many women’s groups immediately became advocates for the vaccinations. They began pressing hard for the series of vaccinations to become mandatory and they fought to have it added to the list of required vaccines for children.  These groups believed that by making the HPV vaccine mandatory, the cancer causing virus would become isolated, cervical cancer rates will decline, thus saving a lot of lives. According to the National Cervical Cancer Coalition, more than 13,000 women are diagnosed with cervical cancer each year, and 4,000 of those women will die as a result of the disease.

Need I say, I am a proponent of the HPV vaccine. I am also a proponent of completing the entire HPV vaccine process (it’s given in three parts). Studies are finding that more parents are having their children vaccinated for HPV, but they aren’t always completing the 3-part series. Completing the entire series of vaccines ensures full protection from the virus. Missing any part of the vaccine leaves the individual vulnerable to contracting the virus, which causes so many unnecessary cancers.

My soon-to-be 14-year-old daughter completed the entire series last Fall, while my son 15-year-old son is just on his first dose of the vaccine. When I learned that there was a vaccine entering the market, which would protect my daughters from developing cervical cancer, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that they were getting it. Being armed with that type of protection is priceless in my mind! To know that none of my children will ever have to be concerned with contracting HPV, and neither of my daughters will ever have to worry about the threat of cervical cancer allows me to breathe a bit easier.

Be certain to give your children the gift of forever being HPV and/or cervical cancer FREE! Contact your pediatrician today before it’s too late!

 

The Versatile Blogger Award – Yippee

I am a recipient of the Versatile Blogger Award!! Yippee!!

Words can never express how grateful I was, and still am, for having being nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by Ms. MommyHH6. Being nominated and recognized for my blog work reassures me that there is indeed, a place for me in the enormous world of blogging. I am so honored at the kindness of Ms. MommyHH6 and her nomination of my work.

Ms. MommyHH6 uses her blogging platform to focus on moms. She is an Army wife, a mother and an advocate for special needs. Her blog is truly versatile. She hosts product and book reviews. There are a rotation of topics made by Ms. MommyHH6, as well as guest bloggers covering: cooking simply, cleaning and laundry tips, organizing for home and life, children’s activities, special needs family tips, military life and “Just for Mom”. Once a week, Ms. MommyHH6 makes a personal post,then there’s a surprise Sunday post and a special “6” list. If you’re looking for a blog that has it all, you’ll find that with Ms. MommyHH6.

Ms. MommyHH6 is an awesome blogger and very engaging. I like that she’s so supportive and actually interacts with her readers. All around great person to know and connect with. Please visit and follow her blog, you will not be disappointed!

Here’s more information about the Versatile Blogger Award…

If you get the award, here are the rules:

1. Thank the person that gave you the award in a blog post & link back to their blog
2. Pass the award on to 15 bloggers you follow
3. Include 7 random things about yourself in your post
4. Include the rules in your post
5. Notify your nominees by leaving a comment on their blog

There are so many great blogs/bloggers are there. Oh, how I wish I could nominate you all.

Well, here are my nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award. They are:

1) Exceptionalistic

2) You Know It Happens At Your House Too

3) House Kaboodle

4) 2Wired2Tired

5) Not Blessed Mama

6) Cassandra’s Corner

7) Team Ibrahim

8) My Story My Life My Recovery

9) Always A Red Head

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10) Things I Can’t Say

11) Little Becky Homecky

12) Diamonds, Dog Tags & Diapers

13) With Just a Bit of Magic

14) Mom to Bed By 8/Iowa Mom Modern Green Living

15) Cofessions of a Semi-Domesticated Mama

Those are my noms! I think you ladies are truly special!

7 Random Things About Me:

1) I cuss like a sailor

2) I’m a daddy’s girl (Yes! At 35, I still am!)

3) I talk to myself out loud

4) I can’t keep a secret

5) I’ve yet to complete anything that I ever started writing

6) I still daydream and use my imagination daily

7) I believe in the impossible

Again, I’m so honored that Ms. MommyHH6 thought so much of me! Thank you! I’ll never be able to say it enough!

Bloggingly yours,

Mariann

“A Writer Mom”

 

 

 

 

You can connect with me at:

https://4writermom.wordpress.com

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Twitter

Pinterest

4awritermom@gmail.com

Dooney Boy!

This post is in honor of the most dependent, yet my thoughtful member of our household: Mr. Dooney Bourke D.

Dooney
HOT MESS in action!!!

Dooney has been a part of our family for the last y years. He was given to us by a long time friend because of his anxious and destructive behavior. Needless to say, he has been very destructive in our home, but he’s still overly anxious (separation anxiety to the MAX!). We when relocated from Michigan I thought about giving him to another family, because we didn’t know what to expect with the big move. I knew that whom ever I placed him with would have to be extremely patient, retired, boring, financially stable and an over-the-top dog lover. I knew the chances of me finding someone to meet that criteria would be slim to none, which is how he wound up moving to Texas with us. Plus, I just couldn’t and didn’t want to leave him behind. He is a unit of our family and we love him too much to abandon him!

Dooney
So Fresh and So Clean!!!

 

20 Years Already?

Yesterday I was on a conference call with about eight members from my graduating class of 1994. We were discussing our upcoming two decade class reunion. Even though it’s still two years away, we’re starting to prepare and get things in order now.

While it was exciting to engage and hear the familiar voices of my fellow ’94 Mackenzie Stags, it was then, during that call, when reality snuck up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

“It’s been twenty years? It’s been twenty years! I’ve been out of school twenty years? I’ve been out of school for twenty years! OH, MY GOD!”

Right then and there, my entire body was consumed with goose bumps at the realization that so much time has indeed passed.

To be more exact, it has been eighteen years, one month and eighteen days since Mackenzie’s graduating class of 1994 gathered at the Chene Park Amphitheater, in downtown Detroit, right smack dab in the middle of a heat wave, to signify the successful completion of our “wonder years”. It would be the last time that all three hundred and eleven graduating seniors would ever be together under one roof. I remember the entire scenario being such a big deal to me, so much so, that I cried and sniffled nonstop, throughout the ceremony.

I sat there rationalizing the fact that, I’d gone to school with these people for the last four years, some for even longer than that. I’d formed a bond with these people. They were very much a part of my daily life, as I was theirs. We were truly a family. Now I was being forced to let go and move into my own destiny by myself, and without them?

Those are the thoughts that consumed my mind on that extremely hot and sticky graduation day.

Here comes the infamous cliché: “Seems like only yesterday” that I was actually living that moment, expressing those feeling, crying those tears and coming to those realizations.

It’s been nearly twenty years and it’s good to know that some things never change. Everything that I felt on June 15, 1994 all came back to me yesterday as I sat, listening in on that conference call.

I smiled as I listened to the grown-up versions of those same ’94 Stags as we compromised, made plans and took on responsibilities. I chuckled as jokes were made, as teeny tiny jabs and sweet natured pot shots were taken. I was so relieved that we were able to successfully pick right up where we left off, nearly two decades ago earlier. Everyone was them same, just as I remembered them.

Yes! Twenty years post-high school graduation is steadfast approaching and I’m so welcoming of it, so much has been accomplished and there’s so many worthwhile memories left to be made!

Admittedly, I was feeling old at just the mention of a twenty year high school class reunion, but just the fact that I’m still here and able to participate is also worth celebrating!

Embracing the maturation!

 

Some of David Mackenzie’s graduating class of ’94

Porn and Your Child

This child has not been found guilty of any pornography watching. He has yet to reach the statistical age of 11. Whew! (wipes forehead)

Does anyone find it alarming that the average age at which a child, is thought to,  view pornography for the first time is age 11?  To me, it’s startling, alarming and upsetting, particularly since I have four children of my own. On top of that, two of my four children have yet to reach the age of 11. I have one boy and one girl child left, under that statistical age, and those statistics really make me nervous. I don’t want my pre-adolescent children viewing porn, and I don’t want them thinking that it’s okay, if they do. That leads me to the reason that I wrote this post. Have my older two children, who have surpassed the previously mentioned statistical age,  ever surfed the web for pornography? Have they watched XXX movies or looked in the adult magazines?

Before talking to my children, I first decided to talk to several of my friends to get their perspective on children/teens and porn. After speaking to them, admittedly I was rather surprised at their responses. No one was as shocked and dismayed as I was. In fact, they made me feel as if I was totally overreacting and going overboard. Basically, everyone was taking it all in stride. I heard a lot of, “Their boys. What do you expect?” “It’s natural, that’s what boys do.” “Oh, girl! That’s nothing!” I seem to be the only mother/parent/person bothered by the fact that their teenage child and their friends may enjoy looking at pornographic images of women. Am I overreacting? Am I not well within my rights to be flabbergasted?

Seriously, I feel so lost. When did this become the societal norm? When did kids and porn, or teens and porn become socially acceptable? I swear, I feel so behind in the times. I completely missed the memo, in regards to this!

Back in the day, I remember the boys sneaking to look at their dad’s, uncle’s, older brother’s and cousin’s Playboy and Hustler magazines. I remember when they would cleverly watch the XXX rated video tape that was left in the VCR. Once they finished watching, they’d rewind the tape back to the exact spot where they initially found it. Point is, the kids got their hands on the porn back in the day too,  but it was accessed sneakily.

Upon speaking with my oldest boy, I nearly went into a series of convulsions, when I learned that he and his friends have adopted the same lack-a-daisy mindset, that it is normal to look at porn. They also think that it’s okay to exchange sexual images by way of their cellular phones and email accounts (which is another topic, to be discussed at a later date). They said, “Everyone does it! It’s no big deal.”

In my opinion, teens are going beyond pushing the envelope, while adults are just so carefree. I previously read an article written by another concerned mom, in regards to her teenage son watching porn on his laptop, and the comments she received were pretty nasty. She was completely villainized by the readers. For the most part, they felt like she was out of line for looking through his laptop. They said she completely embarrassed him and violated his trust. They also said that he wasn’t engaging in anything abnormally. The comments went on for days.  Although I didn’t leave a comment, I was totally on the side of the mother. I, too, feel like some things are to be reserved for adults and your adult years. I don’t think that it’s okay or acceptable for my teenage son or daughter to seek out pornographic images on the computer, their cellular phones or any other technological device. I refuse to believe that I’m the only mother/adult who feels this way. Whatever your opinion, I’d love to hear it. What’s your perspective on the matter? Have you had to deal with it? If so, how did you handle it?

All perspectives are respected.

 

You’re Grown, Huh?

It’s not to often that my biggest girl does anything shocking or anything that’ll cause my jaw to drop. For the most part, she wants to stay on my good side and off of my blog and social media rants. She treads very lightly. She knows exactly how far to go before the wrath of momma comes in and takes over. So, imagine my surprise when my “conscientious” child took it upon herself to make a decision without being totally certain that she had my 100% guaranteed approval.  Needless to say, the biggest girl has made finally made her “it’s all about you…and not in a good way” blog post debut!

Well, about a month back my soon-to-be 14 year old,  made a decision unbeknownst to me. It was a choice that left me at a complete lost for words. I was so shocked that my jaw did actually drop. I was so shocked that I’m only now able to write a post about it!

This is how the oldest gal has looked for the last two years. This is who we’re all used to seeing on a daily basis. Okay? And like this:

One night while I was sitting out at the fire pit enjoying the company of a few friends and spirits, she and the littlest boy came over to reveal that she now looks like this!

(eye bulges practically out of my head!)

Here’s another view!

Oh! And, here’s a black and white view. Yeah, she’s taking black and white photos, too! 0_O

Although cutting her hair was something that we’d briefly discussed. I was shocked that she went and did it without me. I also felt like she did it sneakily because she waited until I was outside of the house and fully engaged with friends. Then she came strutting over to the fire pit area where we were sitting with a hoodie on, let me remind you that it was 80+ degrees outside. When I questioned her about the hoodie that’s when she  revealed her “haircut”.

Smart girl, huh? To do her big reveal while I was surrounded by people who would downplay the situation and keep me calm? She had it all well planned out, if I must say so.

I guess more than anything this hair cutting situation made me realize that my biggest gal is closer to be grown up, than she is to being a baby. She’s branching out more, becoming her own person, liking her own things and using her voice…..(respectfully, of course!)

So, I am learning to loosen up and let go a little bit. I always thought I’d welcome stages like this, but I’m more sad than I am happy.

It’s not about her cutting her hair, its way bigger than that.

She’s not my little four pound, twelve ounce preemie anymore. She’s growing up.

It was bound to happen!